If you haven’t guessed it yet, I am a searcher and researcher on love. More specifically, on relationships.
Whatever book on love and relationships I can find to help myself and others I read, listen to, and ponder. That also includes the number one source on Love: The Holy Bible.
There are sooooo many opinions on love. There are soooo many opinions on co-dependency and the willingness to give up or persevere through it.
Some give up and lay love down.They are unable to carry the burden and weight of what comes along with it, while others dig their teeth in as a fighting pittbull would, claiming his last t-bone before the slaughter. Both honorable in their own rite and both choices never easy to make.
Basically, This is what I know…
More accurately, This is what I’ve always known…
Love comes in 4 parts:
Mind, body, spirit, and emotions.
Like an ingredients label on a cake mix, you have to follow the directions or it ..just…won’t..taste..like cake.
Hey hey hey, yeah I know even messed up cake tastes great. I mean it’s chocolate right? But here we are looking for authentic cake. Rich, moist, and fluffy and ready to go so let’s refocus now.
*Gulp* The truth of such ingredients is unsettling to the pallet mainly because most of us never see 100% compatibility of these ingredients in our relationships or marriages. We give in at 70% or 80% believing 100% would be asking for the impossible. A 100% compatibility would be perfection and that is asking too much for two humans!
Oh, but is it?
I would like you all, my dear readers, to meet Bob. (Hi, bob).
I usually see Bob every now and than at the Library. He is what we would term a conspiracy theorist but I do thoroughly enjoy his enthusiasm. I learned a great deal from him today in our very short conversation.
He wanted help copying a marriage contract. That I would of never guessed. I gently inquired about his upcoming wedding nuptials and he said these profound words. Words of course I’ve heard before, but today with Bob, it was refreshing.
Bob: I met a lady. I’ve always thanked God for women they are so precious and dear. I’ve met one that I didn’t think felt the same way about me. But when I professed my love for her she surprisingly felt the same. You see, most people find some sort of compatibility with someone, hopefully the opposite sex but you never know these days, and they marry with 50 or 70 percent of their spirituality or emotions being fullfilled. Sure, they are attracted to each other or can find intellectual conversations stimulating but it’s never 100%. I’ve learned that when you find that 100% in all areas it’s pure joy. What they would call wedded bliss. I’ve been married to the wrong person before. It’s miserable. You are miserable everyday and you don’t want to come home. You thank God you have a job to go to and friends to hang out with so you can get away. You smoke pot or drink or whatever it is to find a mental vacation because you are in misery all the time.
Me: How old are you Bob if I may ask you that.
64 years and one divorce and he has learned the joys of marriage. Complete compatibility in all areas. Why wouldn’t we experience joy if we could find THAT? Now I ponder what their turn out will be. Is what Bob is experiencing just the the slow fade of first love’s euphoria or has he really found what we are all looking for: his 100% partner.
Some Christians would argue Jesus is the only true 100% for each of us. However, we aren’t talking perfection in mind, body, spirit, and emotions. No not at all. We are discussing compatibility of souls.
So here’s the big Q.
Are you willing to wait for it?
What if your 100% partner doesn’t come to you until you’re 64? You would essentially lose the opportunity for children or family . YET, you can still say in the end you never settled for less. Would it be worth it?
On the other hand.
Can we realistically call our life a journey if we aren’t willing to let the imperfect sharpen us to move us forward? Should we always protect ourselves from “failing” when those failures are what brings us to our 100% partner?
Bob obviously didn’t wait. I’m sure his future wife didn’t wait for this wedded bliss either. Many many people do not wait. Many many people marry the “wrong” person. Never keep guilt or blame for such things and I will tell you why…
My final thoughts:
Every “wrong” turn and every “failure” we feel is very essential to our journey of self growth. Those things we see as life hardships are there to sharpen our character and draw us closer to our God who wants us to experience all that He is. Our lives are many things to many people while we dig and plunge and even crawl to our final destination. In many cases, in the end we are left with merely our thoughts and memories to keep us warm at night….
So to Bob I say this:
Relish and cherish your newly found 4 parts Love…you absolutely unequivocally deserve it! Right on my Rastafarian Christian brutha! Right on ❤